Parental Warning: Grand Theft Auto San Andreas is not a game for children. The rating is MA which is meant for adults over the age of 18. The review for this game is loaded with language and suggestive words and also not meant for those under age 18. The reality is many children under the age of 18 do in fact play this game and are probably reading this review right now. That is between them and their parents. I cannot supervise children who read this review nor can I be in your living room to stop them. That is your job.
If you are a parent, at least be aware if your children are playing this game and set down boundaries for them. If you choose to let them play, make sure they know the difference between fantasy and reality, most children do understand the difference and would never do these things in real life. A handful of disturbed individuals, regardless of age, may be unduly influenced by this game. If you are responsible for such a person, please make sure they are not playing it.
Grand Theft Auto is a game that glorifies killing and general bad behavior including drugs and illicit sex. It is a game for sick degenerates who think it is funny, myself included. All of the Rockstar series of the Grand Theft Auto Games are rated MA.
If you do not want to hear the spoilers, go to the first GTA San Andreas strategy guide. If you don't mind the spoilers and it is your first time playing it, you may want to check out the first guide which tells you about the controls and other helpful basics.
Max Drive Starter File
Want to just jump into the game and have CJ ready for the missions to come? Download this starter file that have most of the basic needs fulfilled so CJ has the best chance of passing the missions first time around.
If you have MaxDrive (North America edition), I have the perfect starter game for you.
The first file is Heli Hell which is a 100% completed game. If you want to explore SA with everything done, use this first file.
The second two files in this download are In The Beginning. The first one is the "Hot Coffee" uncensored version. The second one is the normal file. Both of these have 5.88% of the game completed without the first mission started. The side-missions done include: fire fighting - 12 levels; pimping - 10 levels, Roboi Mart asset completed, and 50 taxi passenger drop offs. All weapons, except the combat shotgun, are at hitman level. All tags have been sprayed. He is at maximum health, muscle and stamina. His driving, bike, cycle, and flight skills are maxed. His gangster rating is 8207 (foot soldier). His respect rating is around 95%. If he gets arrested or sent to the hospital, he keeps his weapons. No cheats were used.
If you don't have it, then here is the play by play for you to get 100% (or close enough if you give up on the ones that are too hard.)
In The Beginning
1992 in San Andreas. CJ received the call that his mom just died and is returning from the East Coast. On the way, he has a run in with the law that scares away his taxi leaving him with no clothes (except what he has on his back) or money. We are introduced to Tenpenny, Pulaski, and Hernandez.
An officer was shot, Officer Pendelbury, and they want to pin it on CJ, so he had better do what they say and then drop him off in Rolling Heights Ballas territory. All CJ has is $350 the cops did not take and a bicycle in front of him. The first mission is waiting, so it would be wise to take the bike as your first mission will depend on having better skills on it and get in some practice and skills.
Take it for a ride around the open area of Los Santos. Become familiar with the territory and get your skill up to at least 1/4th of the way. (Or take my advice in the first guide and max out all the skills you can, make some money, spray tags, buy some properties, attempt the fire fighting/police/ambulance missions or anything else you want to do to have an edge in the rest of the game.) For the sake of this guide, continue to ride around and find weapons along the way. (Click here for an excellent map to locate weapons.) Stop every now and then at the beach where the gym equipment is located and work on your muscle by using the weights and there is a hot dog vendor nearby to the east. Getting up your muscle, stamina, and stockpiling weapons will help. (If you downloaded the file above, you can just jump into the first mission.)
Keep in mind, CJ needs to eat or he will waste away. Take note of the various points where there are food vendors on the street. It costs $1 to eat. Mini marts and outside gas stations have snack machines where CJ can stuff himself and even get fat.
You would be wise to concentrate on making at least $10,000 to buy a house that is located in Jefferson (go west down the alley where CJ finds the bike.) Should you need to save your game before starting the first mission, this is the cheapest and best location to all the action in the first part of the game. Make some easy money by running your bike into gang members or crack dealers (they often just stand there for awhile and move a short distance and stand again.) Crack dealers have weapons, but lots of cash. If you hit them just right, you can kill them on the first try. 50-65 dealers can buy your first home. Gang members are a bit more difficult as some have weapons, some have money, some have both and some have nothing.
If you buy your first safe house at this location, it is a short distance to the source of quick wealth - NW in the downtown area as you just approach going underneath the highway above you. Look for the betting shop. There are two ways to bet. The safe bet involves betting 1/10th of your wealth on the long shot until it comes in. The unethical (though not a cheat) way involves saving before you bet, then go to the betting shop and bet all of your money on the long shot. If it wins, quickly save and do it again. If it loses, reload the game until you get a win. Money equals more respect, the ability to buy things when needed, and higher gang ratings.
The good thing about this safe house in Jefferson is your access to all the Ballas and crack dealers which frequent this area a lot. Killing them will give you plenty of money and respect as well as valuable skills in maxing out your weapons. Just find a bunch of guns you want to master when you roam around and keep collecting them. Go back to this safe house and start killing using one of your weapons. Sooner or later, cops will show up and start shooting back. As long as you do the shooting near your safe house, you can step right in the door just before all your health is gone, save it and start over with fresh health.
As long as you have a place to crash and save, CJ can be refreshed by saving the game. You can have him do as many side missions as you want and max out his skills without worrying about him going hungry.
If you take my advice and max out all your options, you are ready to go to the first mission (or if you want to start with all the disadvantages, just jump right in.)
If you buy property before going to the actual first mission and save, it will save the game as In The Beginning. Now on to the missions! Side missions will be the next big section as well as vehicle missions and those pointless ones which count for nothing.
Of course, you could save some time if you have the Max Drive North American edition and download the perfect starter game, so all you have to worry about in building up stronger defenses would be to finish the police mission and the ambulance mission.
Big Smoke (1.5/10 difficulty)
The first of CJ's homies we meet is Big Smoke who is ready to attack CJ as he is looking at a picture of his dead mother and remembering times growing up in the house. They then hook up at the cemetery to meet Sweet, Kendl an Ryder. Sweet is on CJ's case for missing another funeral, aside from his brother's, Brian (for whatever reason CJ feels responsible for his death.) Kendl leaves to meet her boyfriend that Sweet dislikes because he is not from the right side of the tracks. As they all leave, Sweet's car blows up in a drive-by as Ballas are shooting at them. All they can do is ride the bikes to get out.
Hint: If you had built up your bicycle skills, this will be a breeze. It also helps if you walked in with a mini-sub-machine (Tec-9 or Micro SMG) gun that you can use while riding the bike and armor as they will be shooting at you.
- You can eliminate trouble from the start if you don't mind the heat. If CJ is fireproof and you have moltov cocktails, wait for the Ballas car to come and hit the car until it explodes. You will end up with 2 stars wanted and quickly find the nearest Pay N' Spray, steal a car, get it sprayed and hop back on your bike to catch up with the gang at the first rest point. They will say the Ballas have spotted them, but you know very well they are dead and you just need to keep pace with Sweet and Ryder until you get back to CJ's house.
- Use your automatic weapon and drive-by them until their car explodes. Only 1 wanted star if you do it quickly and don't run over anyone in the process.
- If your skills are maxed on the bicycle, just ride as fast as possible while keeping up with the group. Be sure to have on armor so you can have extra protection if you are shot.
Reward: Respect
CJ will call you on the cell phone to explain how the gangs have broken up and how Ballas and Vargos have dominated the area. He needs to watch his back because they will be after him.
Ryder (1/10 difficulty)
CJ stops in to see a hostile Ryder who is strapping to teach the owner of a pizza place a lesson for spraying over his wall art. He wants CJ to drive and gets him to stop by at Reese's barbershop to get a hair cut. If you have the money, get the corn rows. Anything else and Ryder will knock it.
Next Ryder will complain CJ is too skinny and you cross the street to get something to eat. Do not point a weapon or start a fight or you will fail the mission. After you ordered your meal, Ryder will come in with the gun and you have to bolt. Get back into Ryder's car and quickly run over the cashier shooting at you with a shotgun. If you don't have a supply of weapons at CJ's house (something you obtain when you have sprayed all tags), feel free to get out of the car and take the dead guy's weapon. Casually drive back to Ryder's house.
Hint: As long as you have some measure of driving skill and money, this one is a breeze. The corn rows give you more respect and better sex appeal, but also costs the most. At the pizza place, you may want to order a few pizzas to fill you up if you have not developed most of your skills to give you a good chance to catch up. If your skills are maxed, then eat a salad to stay lean. A thinner CJ with lots of muscle and stamina gets around better. When you get back in the car, sharply turn left and hit the gas to run over the clerk and drive to Ryder's.
Reward: Respect. Get used to it with Ryder. He won't pay you a dime. Now the food places are open which is good because it takes forever to fill up CJ at the vending machines and the street vendors.
Note, if you want to take advantage of a glitch, when you finish this one, save it and come back with a police car or motorcycle and do the vigilante mission at the pizza place. Get this out of the way before you go any further so you can obtain armor at 150.
Tagging Up Turf (.5/10 difficulty)
Sweet is playing basketball with Big Smoke as CJ approaches and Sweet is giving him a hard time. Sweet lets CJ know it is time to respray the tags around the area. As CJ leaves, the game of b-ball ends and Sweet tags along with CJ who will drive around to find the nearest tags. Spray the 5 starter ones and the mission is over.
Hint: Get some melee weapon because you will encounter Ballas who will attack you. Also, it helps to have armor. Aim the paint (R1) at the tag (don't get too close or it won't spray and if you are too far it takes more paint to cover the tag) and press O to spray until you get the message the tag was counted. When you go to the second area, you will be in the heart of Ballas territory and may encounter them before you hit the alley behind the Cluck'N'Bell. Use melee weapons and be careful if cops are around because you will get a wanted star.
If you have already sprayed 100 tags before this point, only the first 95 will have registered when this game starts. You will go back to having all the weapons at CJ's when you finish this game.
If you want to sidetrack a bit, as soon as Sweet hits the first tag, go off on your own and get all 100 tags if you haven't done so already. At this point you will never run out of spray during this mission. Go back to Sweet when you are done to finish the mission.
Reward: $200 and respect
Hernandez will call CJ and tells CJ not to leave town. If you went exploring beyond the bridge to the other islands at this point, you will understand there is no leaving town just yet. Of course, if you want some extra fun, go ahead and try it:-)
Cleaning The Hood (1.5/10 difficulty)
Sweet, Ryder and Big Smoke are discussing hood business. CJ suggests they get the homies back together and is partnered with Ryder to get Big Bear and B Dup. Unfortunately, B Dup has become a dealer and Big Bear is his bitch.
They decide to go out and find some dealers and discover the dealer worked at a particular house so CJ and Ryder are on their way to bust up a crack house. They must kill the dealers and then ride back home.
Hint: Get a baseball bat or some melee weapon with armor if you don't want too much trouble, but make it easy on yourself and get a desert eagle. Instead of walking with Ryder, drive a car and he will get in. If you walk, Ryder is easily distracted and can stray too far if you dawdle too much. Shoot the first dealer with the desert eagle and you will most likely get a 1 star wanted level, but don't sweat it. Run over to the apartment buildings where the crack den is located and start shooting. You can always run to the bribe behind the alley where the clothing store and gym is located. Steal a car if you don't have one and get Ryder in with you then drive home.
Reward: Respect.
Drive-Thru (difficulty 1/10)
The gang is hungry and ready to get something to eat. CJ is appointed driver and they head out to the Cluck'N'Bell and CJ asks about his mom's death, but Sweet doesn't want to talk about it now. Big Smoke and Ryder throw in the gossip that the car that got his mom was after Sweet and it was a green saber. They arrive and Big Smoke orders an obnoxious amount of food, only to be interrupted by Ballas on their way to do a drive-by in their turf and they need to stop them before they reach the block. You need to blow up their car and kill the survivors before they hit your block then drive Sweets and Ryder home and then take Big Smoke to his new place that he said he inherited from his aunt.
Hint: Just drive. Don't even worry about shooting because you risk getting a wanted level. Keep right on top of the other car and don't lose them. Their car should blow up at the Pizza place or sooner. When you see it start to smoke, back up a bit so your car won't catch fire. As soon as it blows up, avoid the flames and try to run over the gang members that survived and drive home.
Reward: $200 and respect.
CJ gets a call from Sweet to tell him to start packing on muscles. Now the gyms will be open. If you have not yet put on the muscle and stamina, it would be a good idea at this point to eat a big meal and head for the gym before doing the next mission. Eat, go to the gym until you max out your limit for the day, go home and save. Return the next day to the gym and continue on this way until you bulk up and have max stamina.
Nines and Ak's (difficulty .5/10)
CJ breaks up a game between Big Smoke and Ryder and they talk about getting armed. Big Smoke and CJ go off to Emmet's for lessons and a new location to get a free gun. While near Emmet's, if you have not bought the house nearby yet, get it now.
CJ will then get a call from Sweet telling him to go to Binco's and pick up some clothes to show his colors.
Hint: Not much to this. R1 to aim the gun and O or L1 to fire it. Repeat. When it comes to aiming the gun at the gas tank, use the left analog stick to focus the gun's aim over the tank hole and press L1 or O to shoot. Drive Smoke home and you're done. The good thing about the weapon you use in this mission is you are not stuck with what Emmet gives you. Swap out weapons if you want something better. If you want an angry and weird Emmet and shoot at him, but don't kill him, during the mission.
At Binco's, get the Eris I shirt, green jeans, high top kicks and the Africa pendant. It will give him a boost of sex appeal and respect. If you really want to fly the colors, get the green rag back for the head and mask. The last two will boost you in the respect area, but not by much.
Reward: Respect. All Binco's stores are open and the rest of the clothing stores will open as missions continue. If you find yourself wanted and are near an open clothing store, hop in and buy a new outfit.
Both Sweet And Smoke have missions for Carl, but for simplicity, I am going to stick with Sweet for now.
Drive-By (difficulty 2/10)
Ryder is complaining about CJ's driving. Sweet insists CJ drives as Ryder is a good at shotgun. They need to go into Ballas' turf to teach them a lesson with a drive-by. There are four sets of gangs to kill.
Hint: Unless you have driving skills and are a maxed in your weapons, don't try to shoot and drive. The easiest way to do this is to run over as many of them and as quickly as you can. Run over the first three groups and then you will drive to the park area and run over some more. When the gang members are dead, you will have 2 star wanted. Drive around the pond to the bribe and knock the heat down to 1 star. If no cops are around, drive slowly and you may just lose the star before the Pay N' Spray, but if a cop spots you, you will get 2 stars again. Drive to the NE corner of the hospital and take that road straight South to the Pay N' Spray. Get sprayed if you still have stars and drive the boys back home.
Reward: $500 and respect.
Sweet's Girl (difficulty 3/10)
CJ goes to Sweet's house to find it empty and gets a message to help his brother who is being attacked in Seville territory. He needs help to escape. You need to get a weapon, armor and make it in time before they kill Sweet according to the meter. Once you arrive, you need to kill off all Seville members shooting at you until all are dead, get a 4 door car and help Sweet and his girl escape, only to have more of them chasing you by car. Lose them as you drive home.
Hint: If you passed the vigilante and ambulance and fire fighter side missions, you have a few really good options and advantages. Your health and armor strength would have increased giving you more time to fight and if the car blows up near you or you decide to use moltov cocktails, you won't burn up.
It is best to find the heaviest vehicle around such as a fire truck or ambulance and run over the shooting gang members. Take cover near the vehicle and duck while you shoot until all are eliminated. Find a four door car and drive into the marker. As the other cars show up at the end of the road, speed through the middle and drive around the west side of the stadium, turn left at the bridge and turn right at the alley near CJ's house (by the yellow Pawn Shop building and a building with an awning over it.)
Reward: Respect.
Cesar Vialpando (difficulty 1/10)
Sweet is complaining about his sister going out with a Mexican with some racist ideas and thinks she is dressed like a hooker. She leaves to see him anyway. Sweet gets CJ to follow her and protect her by joining a low rider bunch. Sweet hooks CJ up with the right car at a friend's place who owes him a favor. The garage in Willowfield will give you the car which you can fine tune while you are there. Drive to Unity Station and use your R3 stick to move the car to match the direction on the screen. If you beat your competition, you pass the mission and win the bet.
Hint: If you have the money, you can fool around with extras, but don't worry too much about it because the basic car you get will give you what you need to pass. This is all about practice makes perfect. Just as the direction arrow hits the circle, move your L3 stick in the same direction. Place a maximum bet for the money. If you saved before this point and lose, you can always restart.
Reward: Double the money you betted. The Lowrider Challenge is open at Unity Station. And now you have a new ally, Cesar, who does not know if the pope sh-ts in the woods or not. The mod shop is open in Willowfield and in Temple by the Pay N' Spray. Cesar will call CJ to tell him about the low rider contests.
Now on to the Ryder missions. He lives down the street from CJ. What a punk!
Home Invasion (difficulty 1/10)
Mission must be started between 12:00-20:00. If you have a bit of time before you can start this mission, you can always practice the burglary mission by entering a van that is parked near the apartments across the street from the Ganton gym.
Ryder is digging around in his yard and mentions his homie LB clued him in on where to get some good weapons and tells CJ to take him to this place. You have 8 minutes until daylight to steal at least 3 crates and then you need to go to the lock up to store them.
Hint: Not much. Just make sure you drive carefully and quickly. If you get wanted stars you blow the mission. In the house, carefully and lightly use the L3 stick to move CJ (brush your thumb gently under the rim of the stick instead of using your thumb on top of the rim), the lighter the touch the better. Pressing too hard on the stick will make noise that will wake the man up and blow the mission. You really only need to get 3 crates to complete it, but there are 6 available. There is one in the downstairs kitchen, one in the living room, and one right at the top of the steps which are the easiest pick ups, although I have been able to get all with enough time left over. You don't get any extra credit for more boxes, so stick with 3 unless you want the challenge.
Reward: Respect. I told you, Ryder's cheap. Of course it lets you know about the burglary missions being available if you get in the same type of van you used (you can find it near the apartments across the street from the gym in Ganton), but you can do these missions even before you get to this point. If you haven't done it already, now would be a good time to finish off the robbery missions before you go on any further.
Catalyst (difficulty 2/10)
Officer Tenpenny and Pulaski are kind enough to stop by Ryder's place where you are trying to get that sherm head to keep from blowing them both up with his concoction over the stove. There is a special shipment available at the nearest train station and he thought they should know. The only thing is Tenpenny was kind enough to tell Ballas and Vargos about it and in order to get to it you need to blast out the competition. However, it was all a set up. As soon as you get the goods, the cops will be on your tail. You need to lose the heat and get Ryder back home.
Hint: Tricky, but not really difficult. As long as you have pretty high shooting skills, this will be a breeze. Come with full armor and an AK47 (hitman level would be best). Drive up along the train tracks and you can run over some of the gang, then get out and use the car as a shelter from the shots coming at you. Blast the first bunch and quickly grab any leftover weapons they lost before the second wave of gangs come and start blasting at you. Hide behind the vehicle and shoot at them. When they are all dead, you need to step into the marker so you can start throwing boxes at Ryder who is in the car. This takes practice and good timing. The further away he is from you, the harder and higher you need to throw the box. The closer he is, the softer and lower you need to throw.
Reward: Respect.
Robbing Uncle Sam (difficulty 3/10)
This mission must start between 12:00 and 20:00. Apparently, Ryder thinks he is some kind of genius as he brags to CJ about his great plan of where to get the best weapons - the military. A van suddenly appears in front of Ryder's home and CJ needs to take them to the base where he has to break past security and steal the crates using a forklift. You will need 6 crates, but also have to make sure useless Ryder is not killed off by more guards coming to protect the base, so you will have to kill them before they kill Ryder who is completely useless in defending himself.
Hint: Full armor, desert eagle, AK47, and any melee weapon like a dildo or baseball bat. If you are fireproof and don't mind the wanted level, use moltov cocktails to kill the first guard, otherwise, jump up on the wall and shoot with a desert eagle. When he is dead, kill any guard coming at you and jump the wall, hit the box on the storage area before you let Ryder in so you can kill the guards inside. Then break the lock to the outside wall and let Ryder in. Get into the forklift and grab the boxes inside. Almost after every box you get into the truck, another guard will come shooting at Ryder. Get out and quickly shoot them and go back to work until the truck is full. Get into the truck and pause it so you can pull up the map and find your closet route to Emmet's place where the truck will go because once you start driving, the army will send trucks after you. There are a few ways to get rid of them:
- If you go near the bridge, drive close to the left side of the road and have them chase you down that side and as you approach the bridge, get as close to the side as possible and they may just end up driving off the bridge.
- If there is a lot of traffic, weave in and out and try to get the trucks to flip over and blow up.
- Do a drive-by and blow them up.
- Turn to the left instead of going straight ahead and it will give you a quicker distance.
Reward: Respect.
And now on to Big Smoke's house to introduce you to a new character, and I do mean character, OG Loc. Of course there will be more assignments to do at Big Smoke's, but for now I will concentrate on Cesar and then OG Loc.
High Stakes, Low-rider (difficulty 3/10)
Cesar gave you a call to let you know about illegal street racing going on in town because he was so impressed with his abilities at the low rider competition. Now's a good time as any to do this one. Cars will bond guys together more than anything else I guess. Anyway, you need a nice low rider, no hoopties or anything else. Go to the mod shop in Willowfield and you will find ample low riders to steal. There is even one parked down the street from the mod shop. Don't go too crazy with modifications. You need a steady car that will handle well and not spin out of control with the slightest bumps. The Voodoo works perfectly. The pimpmobile also is fine as it won't flip over too easily. Get your modded vehicle to Cesar's spot and the race begins. You must win first place to pass.
Hint: A steady low-rider car is a must. A high driving skill is recommended, but not required. I have passed it with barely any driving skill and it was mostly due to the car being solid. Get nitro and use the wire wheels in the mod shop. Once you have the car you want, save it in the house nearby the event because it has a garage and if you fail at least you can reuse the car if you load the game again. These are aggressive drivers, so stay out of the way of their chaos. As the race starts, find a clear path as the other cars gang up on each other and speed through, then keep your lead. Watch the peds, cars, and cops and don't run into anything so you don't lose your lead. (Night is the best time to do this race as there are fewer people and cars on the street.) As soon as you break out way past the herd and make that second turn which is a straight shot, use the nitro and get far ahead. By the time you are at the end of that straight shot, it will be time to make a left turn and a series of little turns where you will be glad to be far ahead of the pack at this point. Manipulate your car carefully around these tight and crowded corners and pretty soon you will be by the boardwalk where you can use the nitro again to guarantee your win.
Reward: $1000 and Cesar is very apparently a good guy on your side. Get your practice in with driving because there are more races to come.
OG Loc (difficulty 3/10)
The gang is on their way to pick up Jeffrey, who has become a "gangsta" and is more of a joke to the guys. Jeffrey got busted for anything he could get into...parking tickets, joyriding and so forth. It seems OG Loc is rather peeved as he is released. Not only does he feel disrespect when called Jeffrey, but one of the prison inmates who became a very close buddy (VERY CLOSE - check out CJ's reaction as Jeffrey talks to his buddy) took his rhyme book and wants it back.
CJ stays to help OG Loc out while the others go home.
Hint: A high cycle skill will get you very far. Don't even worry about shooting while you drive or trying to kill him. This is all about keeping up with him until the end. Keep a steady pace because you will be driving for quite awhile. At the end, any gun will do. You will be in the park nearest CJ's home for the shoot out. Pop him and his other gang members and then drive Loc to work across town at the Burger Shot.
If you are impatient and have great skill with drive-by on bike, shoot out the tires in the bike so he will skid out of control and then kill him.
Reward: Respect. At least it was entertaining, but Jeffrey is so annoying in future missions you will want to kill him, too (Just wait until you meet Zero!).
Life's a Beach (difficulty 1.5/10)
This mission must start between 22:00 and 6:00. Here you will start to understand why Jeffrey is a big joke. He has no talent, but insists he wants to further his career as a rap star. In order to make it big, he needs CJ to steal some equipment for him. He noticed a van of the right stuff headed towards the beach party. In order to steal it, CJ must go to the beach party, distract the CJ by impressing her with his dance skills, then when she invites him to her van, CJ must steal it and take it to the storage center downtown.
Hint: Practice, practice, practice. As soon as you see the shape starting to come close to the circle, be prepared to press it as it starts to hit the circle. Keep to the beat of the music and it will help you focus better. Loosen up and don't force it too hard. If you get a high enough dance score (4000 points or higher), hop in the van and drive like a bat out of hell to the storage area. Route your trip on the map to take the most direct way available. There will be two cars after you. If you go fast enough (if you have a high driving skill, this is no problem) you can lose them easily. If you have them on your tail, try to get them to flip over or crash into the walls or cops so they will blow up or get in trouble then you can get away.
Reward: Respect and now you can dance with your girlfriends on a date. Jeffrey is pretty much like Ryder. Don't expect to get rich from him.
Madd Dogg's Rhyme Book (difficulty 2/10)
Jeffrey is really bad as he is even heckled by his captive audience in the men's restroom over his rhymes. CJ once again offers his services to help him get a better sound, one that belongs to Madd Dogg. If only Jeffrey had Madd Dogg's rhyme book, he could be just as great.
Hint: Press L3 and crouch to walk around. You will need a knife and a silenced pistol so you can sneak behind the guards to attack them. At first all you can use is the knife and do a stealth kill by sneaking behind the victim, target them and then assault. If they see you, they will start shooting you, so sneak! Make your way slowly through the mansion until you get to the center studio room where you will find a guard right outside the room. Instead of approaching him to his face, sneak into the room on the left (there is extra armor in this room) and out the back of that door to stealth kill that guard. Grab the book and sneak back out. At that point, you will be able to use any weapon, but if you don't want to call attention to yourself, continue with the sneak and stealth kill, but the silenced pistol will be easier to use than the knife. If you get caught, you may as well use any force necessary to blast your way through. If you are fireproof and have moltov cocktails, this makes an easy and fun way to break out.
Reward: Respect
Management Issues (difficulty 2/10)
CJ is looking for Loc, but the assistant doesn't seem to realise Loc is Jeffrey. He's even a joke at work. Jeffrey's latest excuse as to why he can't make it in the rap game is Madd Dogg's manager, Scipio. He needs him out of the picture so he can make it big and calls on CJ to do the job by posing as one of the security drivers and show up at a big awards event by 22:00, meeting up with the rest of the drivers on time and then hauling the manager away and off the pier. Not a hard mission, but tricky if there is a lot of traffic.
Hint: Take a motorcycle to try and beat the driver before he leaves the Burger Shot on the north end of town. If you can make it there before Jeffrey calls you on the cell phone, you can neatly pull up in front of the car, stop and then take the car without much incident. Otherwise, you may have to hunt him down a bit if he leaves the area before you get there. Whatever you do, do not damage the car because you cannot go on to the next part of this mission with a damaged car. If it is damaged, go to the nearest Pay N' Spray and get a touch up. Quickly and carefully meet with the other drivers before time is up and park in the middle of the cars. When they start to drive, you drive with them being careful not to drive to fast or too slow. Park in the lit area and wait for the manager and his date to get in, then get out as quickly as possible heading south towards the piers. You may want to pause to map your route. The other cars will realize you have kidnapped him and will chase you. Lose them or you will have to kill them. When you get to the pier, drive as fast as possible and just before you hit the end, jump out of the car. Mission passed.
Reward: Respect. And you will get a call from Officer Tenpenny which will open up another set of missions. For now, let's move on with Loc.
House Party (difficulty 3/10)
Jeffrey is ready to quit the job at Burger Shot and wants to play at least one party before he is sent to jail again. He invites CJ to come and bring the babes with him. He is supposed to get a new outfit and meet up at the house across from CJ's between 20:00 and 5:00. If you have any delay getting there or a day passes by, Jeffrey will call to remind you to come over and let you know the equipment doesn't work so he can't sing. CJ seems relieved and can't wait to go. Only when he shows up, he's back on the mic and the rest of the gang hangs outside to get away from the noise only to get news they are being ambushed by Ballas and it is time to fight.
Hint: Don't bother with new clothes or a haircut as it won't affect how you play, unless you want a new look. Here you will want to stock up on weapons, have armor at 150 and have at least one hitman level skill. The machine pistol and SMG are the best weapons to have because they don't take forever to reload. They will be coming from almost everywhere and you have to be careful not to kill Sweet in the process. Use the cover of the cars to keep from getting hit and pick off the rivals as you see them. If you get hit too much, go behind CJ's house and down the viaduct under the bridge and you will find more armor you can use. So long as you keep hiding behind cars, you shouldn't get hit too much.
Reward: Respect and you won't have to deal with Jeffrey for awhile, until you return back to that side of the island paying penance for your part in Madd Dogg's downfall. CJ destroyed a nice guy's career over a piece of dirt like Loc who will stab CJ in the back with his choice of allies (Listen to WCTR when he does the interview and you will understand). There will be hell to pay.
Now that Tenpenny wants something, it's best to get him out of the way first. You will soon discover why it is best to do Big Smoke later.
Burning Desire (difficulty 2/10)
You will meet your officer buddies at the most obvious location, the donut shop. Tenpenny and Pulaski make it very clear that you are to do whatever they want because you are at their beck and call. They have a little errand for you to run that they cannot get their hands dirtied in. Another punk gangster, just like CJ, is in the way and they want him out of the way permanently. CJ needs to make sure he is dead by burning down his hideout. In the process, he traps a girl, Denise Robinson, in the building. He must rescue her in time and get her to safety. She will become his first girlfriend.
Hint: If you are fireproof, this will be a breeze for you. If not, you may want to make sure you do the fire fighting missions through level 12 or learn how to dodge the flames which will otherwise harm him. You will get the moltov cocktails the police left behind for you and head to the house. Kill off the surrounding gang members at the house and then break the windows and throw in the moltov cocktails in all the windows and wait for the cry for help. Walk in the front door and find the kitchen on the first floor towards the right to get the fire extinguisher. If you are not fireproof, you will need it to clear a path for yourself and will use it sparingly or you will run out too soon. If you are fireproof, just take it and run upstairs to save Denise who is afraid of the flames. You clear a path with the fire extinguisher so she can safely walk behind you until you reach the front door and head outside. Give her a ride home and you have an instant girlfriend.
Reward: Mission Passed. That's all you should ever expect from Tenpenny. You do what he tells you.
At least you have a girlfriend with Denise who is fairly easy to please. She like the local Pizza place, drive-bys, the nearest club, and a moderately paced driving date. It won't matter too much how you look or the amount of fat or muscle on your body. Just take her out whenever you are nearby and aren't doing anything else. 100% will get you a pimp suit. 50% will have her invite you in for coffee (if you have the earlier edition game and exploit the area, hot coffee will have a new meaning and a new game.) 40% will get you access to her car.
Dating is not required for 100% completion of the game, but if you want exclusive outfits or cars (or in the case of Helena, access to guns) you can't get anywhere else, you need to date them. However, you will have to date only 2 girls as part of the mission (Denise and Millie.) The easiest way to have dates without going through the hoops of dressing right, having the right car or the right weight/muscle combination for each girl is to collect all the oysters.
Hot Coffee, in a date, is a special mini game. Normally, when you are invited in for coffee, all you get is the audio of extreme pleasure (must be some really good coffee.) If you have the earlier version of the game, there is an exploit available if you have the GTA censor remover that allows you to play the mini game. You get to move your L3 stick to the movement of CJ in order to pleasure your date and move the excitement meter up. It kind of sucks, but you get to see a whole new side to your date. NOT FOR CHILDREN!!!
If you do a date with this glitch, chances are you will be stuck. To get out, whatever you do - DO NOT TRY AND JUMP!!! That will force you to reload the game. Instead, look for a nearby car and press the triangle to try and enter it. When you see which car he is trying to go into, shoot at that car until it starts to go in flames and press triangle to try and enter it again. The explosion should get you out of the box. If not, keep trying. Meanwhile, you can shoot at the cops all you want, but they can't hurt you. Have fun with it.
Sweet will give you a call. It's time for CJ to earn his stripes by starting gang wars and taking over territories. You will have to go to Ammu-Nation to start that mission. Once that mission is completed, Ammu-Nation are now open for business. For now, on with the police errands.
Gray Imports (difficulty 2-4/10)
Officer Tenpenny decides out of the kindness of his heart to clue you in on the unfair advantage the other gangs have, access to weapons from the Russians. He tells them there is a shipment available and he would be wise to scope it out, so CJ is sent to the docks to break up the meeting.
Hint: Get armor and lots of ammo. If you are fireproof, there is an easy way to end it fast. If not, make sure you come in with a fast motorcycle. Get to the location and sneak in. Use a silenced pistol and take out everyone you see. Some will be coming at you in vehicles with explosive barrels, shoot the barrels before they approach you and you get rid of them quickly. If you need more armor, there is some on the box by the door. Break open the lock with a shotgun or other melee weapon. Crouch and shoot your way towards the upstairs office as quickly as possible. If you have moltov cocktails, as soon as you make it up the stairs, break it out and start lobbing them at the diplomat so he will burn to death before he gets too far. Guards are shooting at you while you chase him. If you kill him before he leaves the building or even the grounds, you pass. If not, he will escape and you will have to follow him and gun him down. A fast motorcycle will be helpful. Don't lose him or you lose the mission. Shoot as you ride behind him until the car explodes, but don't get too close when it starts going up in flame or you will explode, too.
If you are fireproof and lob the moltov cocktails at him, this will be a fairly easy mission. If you let him get away and have to chase him, it becomes slightly more difficult.
Reward: Mission passed.
At this point, you have the choice to do the Sweet mission at Ammu-Nation or the Big Smoke missions. Once you start the Sweet missions, you will constantly be bothered with messages that someone is trying to take over your territory, but you will need to have at least 33% of the territories under Grove Street control to get off this side of the island, so it will have to be done.
Of course, while you are on this side of the island, you can do the side missions now before you can be bothered with the warning messages. In the skate board park is a bike that will initiate a mission - get all the rings on time and pass. There is a stadium event and you should have enough driving skill by now to qualify for the race. If you haven't passed the Roboi's mart asset yet, now would be a good time to do it. If you wish to date Denise, feel free to get it out of the way. Try the vigilante, ambulance, fire missions if you haven't done so yet (although I recommend you wait on the ambulance mission.) The pimping mission and the burglary mission can also be done. Get as many of these side missions out of the way before you move on with Sweet and Big Smoke.
